FORGIVE TO BE FORGIVEN
It is easy to talk about forgiving others until you actually have difficult people in mind. It used to be so easy for me to say that I must forgive others—I even memorized Bible verses about it. But when I discovered that the people I considered “close friends” were talking behind my back, it probably took me years before I could finally say that it no longer hurt and that I was no longer angry at them. It also took time before I could genuinely pray for them and be glad to see them being blessed.
Christ taught so much about forgiveness. In His teaching on prayer, we read, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt. 6:12). He even explained that if you do not forgive, then you will not be forgiven by God (vv. 14–15). We are familiar with Christ’s words to forgive “seventy-seven times” or “seventy times seven” (18:22). This means we must forgive as many times as necessary (see also Luke 17:3–4). He even told a parable about the unforgiving servant who was forgiven of a massive debt but refused to forgive the small debt of another (vv. 23–35). We know the ending of that story—the one who refused to forgive was punished. In His dying moment on the cross, Christ still prayed to the Father to forgive those who crucified Him (Luke 23:24).
To be honest, it’s difficult to understand the idea that in order for us to be forgiven by the Lord, we must also forgive others. Does this mean our forgiveness (or salvation) depends on our own effort to forgive? How can we reconcile this with the truth that our forgiveness is not based on good works but on the finished work of Christ, received by faith alone? Scholars agree that these words of Christ are challenging, and so they must be interpreted in light of related passages.
It seems the Bible does not teach that salvation—being forgiven by God—is based on our ability to forgive. Rather, forgiving others is a sign that we have already been forgiven by God. “People cannot be tightly connected with God, experience His favor flowing freely into their life, or have an optimal relationship with Him, and at the same time be stubbornly unforgiving toward others. After all, think of what such people are doing: trivializing the suffering that Jesus went through to extend His forgiveness to them.” (Strobel, 2005). Those who refuse to forgive cannot be forgiven, mainly because they fail to value the finished work of Christ. It even raises the question of whether a believer who refuses to forgive has really been saved or forgiven at all.
In Jesus’ parable in Luke 7:36–50, He said that those who have been forgiven much will love much. He was referring to the sinful woman who washed His feet with her tears, wiped them with her hair, and poured perfume on them. She showed great love because she had received great forgiveness (v. 47). “Love and forgiveness set up a chain reaction: the more forgiveness, the more love; the more love, the more forgiveness.” (Keiser, W., et al., 1996). Those who stubbornly refuse to forgive may not have received God’s forgiveness in the first place, which keeps them from being able to love and forgive others. For Paul, our forgiveness of others depends on the forgiveness we have received in Christ (Col. 3:13; Eph. 4:32). It is only right to forgive, since we ourselves have been forgiven.
As believers, forgiveness isn’t optional—it is commanded. And as forgiven sinners, it is expected of us. We are to love our enemies (Matt. 5:43–48). Whether they deserve it or not does not matter. After all, we ourselves do not deserve to be forgiven. Often, forgiveness is difficult. Often, it takes time before you can truly say you have forgiven. Sometimes, even after forgiving, the pain still lingers. But brothers and sisters, forgiveness sets us free—and the first person it liberates is the one who forgives. Stay Curious.
Sources and Studies:
Keiser, W., et al., (1996). “Matthew 18:35 No Forgiveness for the Unforgiving?” 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘥 𝘚𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘉𝘪𝘣𝘭𝘦. (pp. 350-352). InterVarsity Press
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